I had a Eureka! moment yesterday. Although I admit, I didn't run through the streets of Chandler naked. Not that kind of Eureka! (P.S. Anyone know what I'm referencing here?)
I was sitting at work, listening to the Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack. And it was playing the song "If I were a rich man". And I was thinking, you know, it's funny how people think, if only I had some money, then I'd be happy. But if they're unhappy without money, having money might make them happier for a bit, but it won't really make them happier, not in the long run. They'll still have all their old problems, now they'll just also have more ice cream. So then I was thinking, you know, that's kind of like me. Sometimes I think, I'd be so much happier if I just had a boy. And maybe at first I would. But I'd still have all my stupid little doubts, worries, and unhappinesses (not a word, ask me if I care) that I have now. Getting a boyfriend or husband doesn't magically make you happier.
Not that I'm unhappy, mind you. Especially now that I'm in college. I'm enjoying college SO much more than high school. High school was good and all, but college is just a whole other... thing. I don't know how to describe it, but I absolutely love college. And I've actually been really happy most of this year. Calendar and school year. But, I always have that little part of me saying, I could be happier if I had a guy.
And maybe I would be happier. But who cares? I need to take charge of life, and enjoy as much as possible. Because, (I just read a book where the chick died, that's why my train of thought is going this way. Very sad book, but very good.) I could die any day, any time. Who knows? That's not something that can be predicted. I mean, the second coming is close, yes, but there are still some signs that have to be fulfilled, so I know I've got some time for that one. But there's no way of knowing when my time is up. Now, I sincerely hope my time doesn't come before I get married, but it's not impossible. Plus, what if I don't get married until I'm like thirty? So, I've decided I no longer care [as much] about guys. Obviously I'll still care some. Because I'm an eighteen year old girl, with a very cute guy in her institute class who should really ask her out again. But, I don't [need] a guy to be happy. Because my life rocks! I have so much to be happy about! Booksigning tomorrow, national novel writing month in five days (it's practically the end of today), adorable nieces and nephews who are just SO dang cute... yep, lots to be happy about in my life. And if I don't get married for another fifteen years, (that would suck) I'd be okay. I could handle it. Because whatever the Lord has in store for me, there's nothing I can do to change it anyway, so why complain? Just take it and run with it!
That's my outlook right now. :-)
Thanks for reading!